Life changes in an instant.

My grandpa on my mom's side had a stroke yesterday. I don't have much time to write now but just in case anyone reads this please pray for us... send us your good thoughts....

All of our 26th Birthdays.

Many of those around me have celebrated their 26th birthdays this year including myself and Mark. When it comes to my own birthday I'd rather not make a big deal about it. For Mark's birthday I was here and he was in England :( I look forward to spending many more of our birthdays together.

Last night 8 of us celebrated Jacob's 26th birthday only he wasn't there with us. As Dan said as we toasted to him- "A great night without a great person." Its true. The night was overall very good. The highlight for me being the ping pong. Two years ago yesterday I took Jacob on in a few games of ping pong following a wonderful Italian dinner... Last night the 8 of us recreated that night. The day felt different than I expected... I've reflected a lot on the part of his life that I knew and what runs through my head over and over is that it was a life well lived. Even though it was cut terribly short... he lived a little over 25 years very well.

Life is fleeting isn't it? There is no guarantee that any of us will be here tomorrow.... So I'll try to live my life well. I tend to get bogged down with little things when in the big picture the only thing that matters are the people around you, the people that love you... Isn't it sad that it takes death for me to realize this simple but HUGE truth?

Time marches on.

It has been 9 months since Jacob Dillow was alive. Its 15 days until his birthday. I feel like I am waiting for something that won't come. Its a cross between anticipation and worry. It feels like dread. I don't know what his birthday is supposed to change for me but I feel like it will do something. Good or bad I am not sure.

Death is wierd; you never know how you'll handle it or when paired with guilt... there are not words.

It has been over a year since I've seen or talked to my stepdad. The closer it gets to my wedding the more real his absense becomes and he's alive. You'd think there was something I could do about this one but there isn't.

I am 3 months from moving out of the US... Its one of those times when I long for another point in my life because I want to hang onto something, I want it to be two years ago, the best summer I ever had. I also long for the future because I'm ready to be in England with my future husband... Why can't I focus on right this minute? This minute is hard and uncomfortable and lonely and I can't figure out how to get out of the feelings I have.

A new age bracket...

So today is my 26th birthday. I had to fill out a survey for work today and at the end you had to fill in your age bracket. Today I had to make 26-35!! I swear it feels like I just graduated highschool.. where did 8 years go so quickly??

With the next year of my life beginning I thought I should outline some goals for this year...

1. Take atleast one class when I get to England. I have been going back and forth about going back to school for a couple of years now. I have a two part dream- I would like to do two things:

• Be a wish granter for the Make A Wish foundation


• Go to school to become a nutritionist. My dream job in this field is to be a nutritionist in a children's hospital setting working with CF patients.

What keeps me from this goal is my inadequacy in math... I was also a mediocre student in highschool and in earning my now pointless associates degree. So I don't have much going for me on paper which has made me hesitant to even try to get in somewhere.... SOOO That is why my goal is to start small. Maybe if I take ONE class I'll see that I can actually succeed!

2. Continue on my journey to fitness and conquering the fight within myself.

3. Do a half marathon in the US and one in the UK.

4. Learn how to cook meals for Mark! I am more of a baker at the minute.

5. Enjoy my new home:

The greatness of working downtown Seattle...

The best part of working downtown is being just a few blocks away from Pikes Place Market. TOURIST central! And I even though I look super serious here- I was really excited to have frozen yogurt! :)

Its been a whirlwind of a couple of days. Finances are really stressful... As i am sure everyone knows. Planning a wedding adds to that stress..

So I decided I'd have some frozen yogurt therapy.

It helped. You should try it.

FRIED.

And surprisingly I am not talking about food in the title.

We had an eventful weekend! We got to spend a lot of time with family as well as some cute puppies we both love...went to a Mariners game and Fado on Saturday. We did the CF walk on Sunday followed by a kayak trip around Lake Union. From those two events I completely FRIED my shoulders. It is the worst burn I have ever had or atleast that I can remember. I can't lift my arms up and bra straps are impossible.

Kayaking was an experience. I have only done it one time before and that was in Greenlake so you could just drift around and be fine. In Lake Union it was a little different. I got completely soaked - Mark was completely dry. (we had seperate kayaks by the way) It was really fun.. but I need more practice!

I found this quote the other day and I feel like its my life right now. "It is the end of something simple and the beginning of everything else"

How true can this be? I am less than 5 months away from everything changing? I'll live somewhere else, I'll have a new last name, I won't have a job... CRAZY.

But honestly...I am soooo excited for it all. I know it will have its tough moments..probably lots of them but that aside I am ready to start this new chapter!

P.S.

RUNNING IN THE SAND IS TOUGH. Doing lunges in the sand is even tougher.

Sitting down is a long process today. :) No pain no gain?

We'll see.