Overwhelmed.

Today I am feeling overwhelmed. Here are pictures of days when I was feeling pretty darn good!

The link I promised two posts ago.

http://unclutterer.com/2008/03/07/reader-suggested-clutter-busting-game-im-moving-overseas/

THIS WAS MY INSPIRATION IN GIVING MY THINGS AWAY :)

A story written in red and black.

This picture is from the 2008 DoubleDay bikeride for ALS. Karyn, myself, Annie, and Gina are at the second rest stop(Day 1) in Laconner in the picture above.

Its a beautiful two day ride through Skagit Valley. Day one is for the most part flat and relatively easy. I say that because I've done it 7 times with barely ever training at all. On day two- I definetly feel my lack of training!

Our yellow vested team rides in loving memory of Aaron McNulty. He passed away in January of 2006. If you look closely at my vest you'll see years printed on the left side. The first years in red and 2006 and on in black. The red represents the years Aaron was there cheering us on and the black represents the years following his death. The last year Aaron was there he had barely any movement left in his body but I'll always remember as we started day one he was at the starting line in his wheelchair smiling and moving his leg just a little bit..his way of sending us off. I pictured it so vividly this year as I started each days ride...

It is a horrible disease. I promised Aaron the last time I saw him that I would do this ride every year until there was a cure or until my legs won't allow me to. So far I've kept that promise! Aaron talked about how after his death Team McNulty might eventually end or get smaller...that we'd be less motivated to be a part of this ride. For some people- this may turn out to be true but for many of us its just not so! Good friends of mine- Dan and Gina who never even met Aaron joined our team in 2007 and returned this year as well. Its hard not to when you see the faces of those with ALS or you hear the stories of the ones who have already passed. It is a disease with no cure and that's what keeps people motivated to return. Once you've experienced being close to ALS you can't turn your back on it! I look forward to next summer when I recruit Mark! :)

Yellow bowl memories.

I've started going through all of my things in preperation to move. I was recently inspired to look at this entire process differently and to let go, get rid of a lot of my things. This will make all of our travels much easier. My question is this...how does the most sentimental person in the world let go of all of her things that represent so much? A coworker of mine sent me an article that i will attach here after I weed through the zillion emails it could be in. It was written by a woman preparing to move over seas and trying to decide what to store and what to get rid of. She asked herself the question about each item "Does this represent me now or me 10 years ago?"

I started going through boxes this week I had a hard time letting go of anything. Not very surprising I guess coming from me! Would you believe that as I stacked up my 8 year old yellow Ikea bowls my mind filled with little memories of every place I've lived? As I opened my box full of candles the smell brought me back to my apartment in Everett and everything that happened that summer. I let myself sit there a few minutes.. reflecting on the last 8 years before boxing these things up and taking them immediately to the Goodwill near by. I have a long way to go..more boxes to go through, more trips to the Goodwill... BUT I will keep in mind this woman's simple question before I pack or let go.

The ties that bind.

I walked into my papa's hospital room on Monday while him and his roommate were talking about ways he could walk down the aisle at my wedding. They figured a walker would be best. Turns out he does better with a cane. I told him as long as he was there...rolling, walking I DIDN'T care.

He's doing well. Still making physical progress daily. Its hard to say what/if anything mentally has changed.

We talk often about my sister having her baby. This always leads to me being next. He put his request in for a boy. I'll see what I can do.

Besides working and visiting papa, my life consists of attempts at a good night's sleep and exercise. I have a Pilate's session with a personal instructor once a week. He's pretty hilarious. The rest of the time I go to All star Fitness downtown. I HIGHLY recommend it. "The skinny one" in my family, as my grandma calls her, has been coaching me on her diet secrets. While I am not convinced they are all healthy I am trying to combine hers with the pointers I've gotten from my nutritionist. We'll see what happens :)

I don't know if this happens to every bride to be but I've entered the nightmare stage before the wedding. I mean that literally. I have nightmares about the wedding day weekly...from forgetting to get my hair done to losing Mark's ring to not having a dress... Its crazy!

All of this to say LIFE IS CRAZY. but most of us in my family are managing quite well. For those that aren't...we're scheming on the best options for them!

Fear of the unknown.

It has been a little over a week since my grandpa, who we all call Papa, had two strokes. I had just gotten to work when Leanne called. Any time she starts the conversation with "you haven't heard yet?" I know its something horrible. With the help of Carla, my manager at work, I got to my cousin Tami's work and we made our way to the hospital. In the ER everything happens so quickly. People move quickly, talk quickly... Its overwhelming. Thankfully he was only in there for a couple of hours. The next unit of the hospital was MUCH better. I took the rest of the week off of work so that I could be there when all the doctors came. I had sooo many questions!

Papa's stroke was on the right side of his brain so the left side of his body is weak. He has minimal to no movement in his left hand but his arm, shoulder and leg are coming along. He walked 6 feet yesterday in physical therapy in between the parallel bars. He has been moved to a rehabilitation center doing 3-4 hours of therapy a day- speech, occupational, and physical. He's got a great attitude and is determined!

One nurse at Highline told us that right brain strokes are sneaky. Its not always obvious what last affects are left with the stroke victim- emotions, impulsivity, planning, math.. these were things were mentioned as possibilities. He can talk perfectly and his memory is completely in tact. FOR that we are thankful.

For me the scariest part has been not knowing whats going to happen over the next few months. There are no two cases the same with stroke patients. The journey ahead is big and uncertain. We are trying to hold together as a family but I will say situations like this bring out the worst and best in people (as said by my best friend Karyn, an RN). For my family its done just that and its not been fun. The key is taking it one day at a time. Rejoicing in the small things... a raised arm, toes wiggling, all names remembered, the first 6 ft walked... all these things keep us trucking along.